The Ultimate (And We Mean Ultimate) Dating Guide
Times have changed when it comes to dating. In the past, there were some basic dating rules that applied to everyone: the man always asked, the man paid for the date, and even if the woman felt a connection, she had to wait until the man contacted her again. In other words, women had no power in the process, and that left many people confused and frustrated with dating.
But the dating world has changed. In fact, the process has changed so completely, the entire dating procedure has been utterly flipped on its head. And there’s no one-sized-fits-all rule for dating. A new study put out by Match.com shows that the rules differ, depending on the age of the participants.
And that’s why unless you keep up with dating trends—or even if you do—it’s a great idea to get dating advice from a trusted online dating guide. And that’s where we come in.
We get so many questions from readers that we decided to put together an epic dating guide. In this guide, you’ll find all the date tips you need, such as articles about casual dating, speed dating, whether or not you should join a dateclub, and if you’re a teen or young adult, how a teen dating site can benefit you.
So are you ready to learn how to navigate the new dating world? Let’s get started by looking at some of the basic guidelines for dating that you should know.
7 New Dating Guidelines for the Modern Dater
According to the Match.com survey we mentioned earlier, there are some tried and true guidelines that today’s daters follow. In order to improve your dating results, read the following tidbits taken from the survey we mentioned and apply it to your own dating circumstances.
Some People Still Follow Tradition
Not everyone embraces the “new” rules of dating. In fact, a good number of people still like to follow the traditional ways of mingling. For example, it’s been said that women are more comfortable asking men out in today’s dating environment, but the truth is that most of the women in the study still expect a man to make the first move. But the mood has shifted when it comes to paying for a date. Of those women studied, 41 percent of them said they would feel comfortable picking up the check on a first date. And only 37 percent of men said they feel that they should pay the check.
The Takeaway: Just be yourself. The rules about who should ask out who, and who should pick up the check are changing, so your best bet is to just be yourself and do what’s most comfortable for you.
Instant Attraction is Real—for Some
You’ve heard of love at first site? It turns out that may not be as out there in left field as many people believe. In fact, of those surveyed, 31 percent believe that they can determine whether or not they have chemistry with their date within the first 15 minutes.
The Takeaway: More people believe that it takes longer than 15 minutes to determine whether they have chemistry with someone, and we agree. Don’t make an instant judgement, but take the time to get to know your date before you make a decision. You never know what you’ll uncover if you take the time to dig a little deeper to find out who they are.
Truthfulness is Important
When you and your date aren’t a match made in heaven, the majority of people believe it’s best to be honest. Here’s how it plays out. If they realize that they aren’t interested in someone on the first date, only 12 percent of people would be honest about it and call an end to the night. In fact, 52 percent of the people surveyed say that you should tell the other party—in a polite way—that you just aren’t interested. But 24 percent of those surveyed say that they think being evasive about any future dates is the right move. Younger daters tend to simply ignore phone calls from the other person.
The Takeaway: Sometimes it can be hard to do the right thing, but this is a situation where you should really try. If you know you’re not interested in your date, you should politely tell them so. If you don’t, it could lead to hurt feelings and false expectations, something no one wants to deal with. In the end, your honestly will likely be appreciated.
Your Mom was Right About Sex
Moms for generations have been telling their sons and daughters not to have sex on the first date, and it turns out they were right. A full 80 percent of those people surveyed agree that daters should never have sex on the first date, while only 6.5 percent of singles say they typically engage in that behavior. The study says that building mystery is important to the relationship, and if your date scores the first time, they won’t be as motivated to call you again.
The Takeaway: It’s best to go old-school on this one, especially if you’re really interested in the person. Think of it as a challenge—building that mystery will probably make sex all the better if the relationship gets to that point. Let’s give moms across the world a shout out for being right on this one.
Follow Up Times Differ
If a date went well, following up can help propel the relationship. But people approach it in different ways. In a nod to old-school tactics, 48 percent of women believe men should be the ones to follow up after the date. But all men don’t follow the same timeline. Only 6 percent of those surveyed follow up with a day of the date, while 68 percent of men wait 1-3 days to make the call.
The Takeaway: It’s hard to give advice about this particular aspect of dating because every person is different. So just as we recommend in our section on traditions, just be true to yourself. But keep in mind that many men do like to lead, and if you take the lead and follow up right away, especially if he’s a traditionalist, it may not be well-received.
The Phone Still Rules
Sure, we live in an age of digital technology, but the survey shows that 80 percent of all singles still prefer the phone when it comes to communicating with other singles. It stands to reason that younger daters might prefer social media, email or texting, but the statistics don’t lie.
The Takeaway: The phone allows more intimacy than social media, and we guess that’s why so many singles prefer it as a means of communication. After all, how can you really learn about someone when you’re texting with them?
Friend Introductions are Okay
Finally, you may wonder whether or not it’s okay to introduce someone you’ve just started dating to your friends, and luckily the study clears that up. According to those surveyed, 50 percent of men will introduce a date who they’re interested in to their friends, and 35 percent of women will do so.
The Takeaway: It’s a great idea to introduce someone you’re interested in to those people in your life whose opinion you trust. They may see things you don’t or agree with you that your date is wonderful. In other words, it’s smart to get outside opinions of the person you’re interested in to confirm your instincts.
Okay, now that we’ve talked a little about how things have changed in the dating world, let’s talk about some tips that will allow you to have the best dating life you can.
Many relationship experts give dating advice about how to have the perfect date, but we think it’s important to back up a little and talk about the ideal mindset you should have before, during and after a date. Here are some steps you can take to prepare for the perfect dating world.
Make a List of Non-Negotiables
Some people are looking for long-term relationships, while others are into casual dating. It’s important that you are clear about what you’re looking for before you begin your search. If you want a long-term relationship or marriage, don’t agree to date people who are only looking for a quick romance or a causal relationship.
Consider Online Dating
More and more people are meeting their love interests online these days, and it’s a perfectly legitimate way to meet dates. When you post your profile, be sure to remain true to yourself so you will attract the kinds of people who are right for you. And when you’re searching profiles, don’t only judge on looks, but look deeper to gain an understanding of who the person is.
At the start of a relationship, whether you met them in person or via online dating, be sure to take it slowly. Begin with a couple of email or text exchanges, and build up to more and more face to face meetings. Keep in mind that if the person you’re talking to doesn’t want to meet face to face, it could indicate a problem. He or she may be married or in another committed relationship.
As you meet with the other person, pay close attention to the conversation you have. Do one of you dominate the conversation while the other sits by passively? This could turn into a future issue if a relationship develops. Is the person controlling or constantly talking about their problems? That’s another red flag to watch for.
Have an Escape Plan
When you meet someone for the first time, it’s smart to let them know upfront that you have plans scheduled for later in the day or evening. This allows you to leave gracefully in case the date is a disaster.
Post Dates are Important
Finally, it’s important to pay attention to the behaviors of your date in the days that follow. If he or she doesn’t get in touch within a week, it’s best to forget them and look for someone else because they’re not interested. If he or she texts you repeatedly but doesn’t try and set up another date, you should also move on because chances are, they’re not really interested in a relationship with you.
Do you feel that you understand today’s dating world better now that you’ve read our dating guide? Check back in with us often as we’ll continue to post the latest dating advice and keep you informed about online dating, speed dating, casual dating and more. Remember, knowledge is power, and if you understand today’s dating environment, you’ll have better success as you move forward.
Ok Now Let’s Talk about Casual Dating
Why Some People Like Casual Dating
Everyone has different dating styles, and none of them are right or wrong. The truth is, dating is a personal experience and when someone engages in it, they should approach it in a way that makes them the most comfortable. And that’s no different with casual dating. If you, or someone you know, is into casual dating, here are three reasons why it might be so appealing.
But First, What is Casual Dating?
Before we tell you why casual dating appeals to so many people, let’s talk about what it is. Casual dating is defined as two people who are just having fun together, but aren’t committed to each other in any serious way. They go out and may even be known as a couple, but they haven’t decided to be there for each other through thick and thin.
So, why would anyone want a relationship like this? Here are three of the most common reasons.
Cuddles Without Commitment
People who like casual dating enjoy the idea of having someone around to go to the theatre with or take home on holidays, but they don’t want the commitment that typically comes with that type of relationship. Casual daters have the best of both worlds. They have that hand to hold—when they want to—and also have the freedom to act like a single person when it suits their needs.
The Ability to Play the Field
Other people like the idea of having a special “someone” in their life while they continue their search for Mr. or Ms. Perfect. So many people stay lonely while searching for their perfect match, but if they date casually, they never have to be alone. It’s important that if this appeals to you, you don’t lead the other person on by pretending the relationship is more than it is.
Many people don’t like the idea of a committed relationship because they find it boring. But when dating casually, they are able to continue to see whoever they want to so they never have to deal with a stale relationship. If the person becomes bored with their current partner, they can simply end it and go on to a new one. This way, they are always in a new and exciting relationship.
As you can see, casual dating isn’t for everyone, but if it appeals to you, why not continue to look through the articles on our site and find more dating advice and date tips that will help you up your game?